I went to see the doctor on Thursday. I told her about how much my back hurt and she looked at it some and gave me a prescription for muscle relaxers. I have enough for ten days. 

She sent me down the road to get x-rays done, which was an adventure, that whole day was an adventure really and lots of crying and yes. 

Yesterday they apparently called me with results but my phone never rang, they called the house, mom sent me an email saying that they need to get ahold of me and I need to see the specialist and since it’s a holiday weekend if they can’t contact me I can’t get back to them until Tuesday, so it seems urgent, so I call back. And I have to leave a message. By the time they get back to me again, and my phone actually stops being a dick and I actually get the phone call, I’m driving home and it’s almost 4 and places are gonna start closing because it’s Friday. And she tells me I need to see the specialist because a couple of the disks in my back are messed up. But I get home and call the specialist and the earliest he can see me is August second. That’s a month away for something that the doctor was so urgent about, plus I only have enough meds for 10 days. 

So it’s super late in the day and I don’t even have enough time to call the doctor back and I have to wait until Tuesday to do that. So I just kinda take it. Whatever. And I went out with Shelby last night and at a certain point I think my meds wore off or something, but I’m in my car following her to Wegmans and I just almost start crying because my back is suddenly killing me and my knees are aching again and just my whole body is imploding, and I think, I’m only 20 and there’s a possibility I’ll need surgery, and I’m just so scared.